By The Numbers: 4,186,232,106

...was the number of people on Earth on May 3, 2014, who were driven into a state of sexual frenzy when a massive Orta Beam from the Vanoosh Galaxy struck the planet. For 6 hours, until the beam had passed completely, people were screwing and/or masturbating like crazed rabbits. Sexual orientation (along with racial, age and body type preferences) went out the window during the Great Frenzy, with people just humping whomever they were near. The taped sessions of various national legislative branches are still big hits on YouTube. The ones from Britain's House of Commons and the US Senate are particular favorites.

Nobody actually died from all that sex, but many people, especially older folks, had to be treated for exhaustion and there were a whole bunch of fires and automobile crashes. Additionally, many children got an early lesson in sex as they watched all of those adults going at it.

Since then, the whole anti gay movement has calmed way down, as has the anti abortion protests. Lots of unaffected people with cell phone cameras taped a whole bunch of wild shagging by the Religious Right that day, which helped to put a damper on things.

Unknown to the people of Earth, another Orta Beam will be hitting the planet on August 16th, 2017. This one may take as long as 12 hours to pass by.