F is for Freak Patrol

The Freak Patrol was, starting in the Summer of 1969, the Establishment’s worst nightmare: Hippies with superpowers. And not freaky deaky strange superpowers, but powers like superspeed, superstrength, telekinesis, invulnerability, mind control, shapeshifting and a whole bunch more. Within days of their first appearance, they shot right to the top of every government agency wanted list, to say nothing of President Nixon’s famed Enemies List.

The Freak Patrol numbered somewhere between 6 and 14 members. Nobody is sure because the group changed and swapped costumes nearly every time they appeared in public. It’s not even known exactly how many were male and how many were female.

Besides helping out people in need and doing other good deeds, the Freak Patrol also exposed a whole lot of crooked and corrupt people to the public eye. That’s why President Nixon left office before his first term was up and why almost the entire Senate and House were voted out in the next couple of elections.

They were just as busy in other countries, particularly Russia, where communism fell hard around the summer of 1976. Many other countries suffered similar fates. Dictators became an endangered species.

They stopped a total of 16 wars and did a great amount of environmental restoration. They also built an international moon base.

In all of their exploits, the Freak Patrol never hurt or killed anyone. Government attempts to frame them always seemed to backfire very badly.

The Freak Patrol was around until September 21st, 1990, at which point they dropped heart shaped leaflets saying "It's all over for us here. Going to another gig. Be good and love each other." Since then, no super powered person has ever appeared on Earth.

Since none of the Freak Patrol took catchy names or wore traditional costumes, there is no way to really identify them for posterity, other than using terms like "the short one who could fly and shoot energy beams" or "the average sized one who could change shape and teleport." The statue erected to them at the intersection of Haight & Ashbury streets is rather abstract and just reads "Freak Patrol: They Changed The World."