Chapter 2: In Which The Committee Inside My Head Holds A Meeting

Transcript of the meeting held on March 15, 1979 at 1:30:23 p.m.

Common Sense: Ok, guys, settle down. A meeting has been called to discuss...
Penis: PUSSY!!!!!!
Primitive Brain: Mongo like pussy. Mongo want pussy.
Penis: You betcha, big guy! MEETING OVER! LET'S FUCK!
Common Sense: Hey, you assholes! Quiet down! Guilt wants to speak.
Penis: PUUUSSSSSSYYYYYY!!!!
Guilt: Ahem...thank you, Common Sense. Glad to see you. I thought you were dead.
Common Sense: No, just underused.
Guilt: I hear ya.
Penis: Hey!!! Hot babe at 12:00 high! Let's go!
Primitive Brain: Mongo agree with Penis. Mongo want hot babe.
Guilt: SIGH! Listen, you guys, we can't have sex with this woman. She's Marty's MOTHER, for goodness sake!
Common Sense: A good point, Guilt.
Penis: She's hot! She wants me!
Guilt: Oh, sure, she has made a a move that might be construed as...
Penis: MIGHT BE CONSTRUED???? She's got her hand on our thigh! She's got a horny look in her eyes!
Guilt: But think of how we'll feel afterwards!
Primitive Brain: Mongo feel good after. Then Mongo take nap.
Penis: You and me both, buddy!
Common Sense: Yeah, she is looking pretty hot to trot.
Penis: PUSSY AHOY!
Guilt: But she's older than us...and Marty's MOM!
Penis: Who cares? Are you gay or something?
Primitive Brain: Mongo not care. Woman is woman to Mongo.
Guilt: But...but...we...
Logic: Excuse me, but if I could just run a few points by the committee?
Common Sense: Oh shit, thanks for showing up, Logic.
Logic: My pleasure. As to the problem at hand...
Penis: Speaking of hands, she's rubbing our chest with the other hand! I'm dyin' here! PUSSY!!!
Logic: ...I feel I should point out that the woman in question is A: Only 12 years older than us. B: Divorced these past 3 years. C: Celibate for 6 months longer than that. D: A consenting adult and E: She's...
Everyone: SHE'S UNZIPPING OUR PANTS!!!
Logic: I'm outta here. Common Sense, you with me?
Common Sense: Yep
Guilt: Damn! Why do I even bother?
Primitive Brain: Mongo gonna get laid!
Penis: MAN YOUR BATTLESTATIONS! WE'RE GOING IN! BANZAI!!!!!!!

Meeting adjourned at March 15, 1979 at 1:30:25 pm