The Hot Sneakers

Are you less that a sex symbol, lookswise? Are you average looking or below on the appearance scale? Are you so ugly that you have to get yourself drunk just to masturbate? Well there's good news for you! If you can locate and put on the Hot Sneakers, you can become a total hottie, irresistible to the opposite (and even many of the same) sex. By the time you finish lacing up these polka dot sneakers, you will have transformed into a hunka hunka burnin' sexy.

But what about during the naked horny times, you ask? Must I wear the sneakers while I'm doing the horizontal tango? No, my friend, you don't. The transformation will remain in effect for up to 6 hours after you remove the sneakers. After that, you'll need to wear them for at least 4 hours before you can take them off.

These sneakers look just like yellow Converse high tops with big green polka dots. The green flames on the rubber toe of each shoe let you know that these are the real deal. Please do be aware that these are by far the most sought after Cool Shoes and there are ugly people out there who will kill you for them.